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9 Reasons Beyoncé is Not Coming to Convo

You’ve been wondering, so here it is! The abridged list of why we can’t bring Beyoncé to JMU.

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  1. Queen Bey is a busy woman. From headlining Coachella, photo shoots, making best dressed lists on the regular and juggling her own family life. Speaking of family life…raw
  2. She’s pregnant!
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  3. With twins! There are two babies in that stomach, let’s let the woman take some time off. giphy
  4. She’ll be at Coachella during JMU’s spring concert season. Sure we could try to drag her away, but those who’ve already purchased their Coachella tickets would NOT be pleased.
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  5. Tickets would be crazy expensive. Some of her FormationTour tickets sold for 450 dollars. If you’re anything like me, you blew any chance of saving 450 dollars when you discovered Dunkin’ Donuts.
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  6. Convo couldn’t handle the amount of people. Because let’s face it, if Beyoncé is coming to town, everyone and their mother is coming to that concert.
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  7. JMU couldn’t afford it 😦 Beyoncé is in high demand, so her artist fee is outrageous. The University Program Board gets a certain budget, and once that budget is divided up among the various UPB committees, there is not enough to pay for a Beyoncé concert. Well, even if we cancelled UPB for a year, we still couldn’t afford a Beyoncé concert. We need more money!
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  8. Convo doesn’t have and probably will never have fire cannons. Which seem pretty much standard for Bey’s concerts.
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  9. I had Beyoncé’s phone number, but it was written on a sticky note and I lost it when I was doing my laundry. I tried calling Jay-Z and Solange but they haven’t responded to my voicemails.
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So, those of you who are ride or die members of the BeyHive, we are sincerely sorry that Beyoncé won’t be coming to JMU anytime soon. All we can do is hope she keeps us in our thoughts as she takes America by storm. single-ladies-GIF-beyonce-38590601-500-215.gif

Written by Taylor Sarlo 

 

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